It started out like any other Sunday. The only thing to get me out of bed was football. The only thing to get me out of my house was not having the ability to watch football in my own home. So it was to the usual football house.
I got to the house and found, as usual, the host in his pajamas, his girlfriend reading a book, and people on their computers. The only difference between this day and every other football day, was now, I was in a fantasy league.
But I didn’t care, because who cares about fantasy football when there is real football on? My co-manager had just acquired Urlacher that morning. I told my friends we should have a no computer rule, but then I realized it would be useless, as I am the only one without a smart phone.
Before I knew it, it happened. How could it not? With the game Stafford played, how could I not turn. I found myself asking to use my friend’s computer. I would ask what happened, my friends confused would respond, “Dez Bryant got a first down.”
“I understand that. But what happened to my points,” I would inquire impatiently.
In math today I couldn’t help but explain watching my numbers go up and down, how I had been affected by what we call in elementary the ‘math curse’. But that was only the teacher truth. The real truth, I have come across the fantasy curse.
With 155.41 points (I won my game) I still have Reggie Bush and Jacoby Ford left to play. Luckily, I don’t have to cheer on Bush as we have clenched it. But I wonder. Would I have secretly wanted him to get more yards tonight? The Oakland game is on late. But I already now I will watch the points on my computer change as I lay in bed. I already texted my one of my two Raider fan friends. Usually my text would be something more negative. Today it just reads, “Go Jacoby Ford.”
Maybe fantasy is the key. Maybe having to cheer on all these non-Boston athletes will diminish my massholeness. Or maybe I will just have even less time for a life.